How about we stop feeling guilty about being awesome?

Impostor’s syndrome seems to be a commonality these days, especially in women. With the growth of public exposure, mainly through social media, we see so many wonderful figures blossom and naturally when we see our own accomplishments, we may dismiss them and feel like we’re not enough of this, not enough of that, or that compared to others, what we didn’t isn’t that great at all.

There’s also the feeling of not deserving something. Do you ever experience that? I do, especially when I travel. The day before I leave, my mind grows full of thoughts of ‘I can’t believe this is happening to me,’ ‘This seems unreal, something is going to happen that will prevent this whole thing from becoming true’ and so on. This effect of impostor’s syndrome can apply to jobs, ‘lucky’ happenings, promotions, compliments – where you feel like whatenever you’ve done is not big enough to match what you got. Recently, I’ve caught myself thinking that way, and I tell you what, it’s wrong! Everything we do matters, and every reward we get is deserved, if only because we are doing our best and being the lead in our own lives. Because taking care of ourselves and valuing ourselves is so important. A few brainstorms later, here are my tips to help you (and myself) to kill impostor’s syndrome and just own it all!

YOU ARE LEGITIMATE IN WHAT YOU DO.

Here is my dilemma. I blog, I post a lot of photos on Instagram, and I take care in the quality of my content. I always feel very proud of my content, but now and again the question pops up in my head: am I a blogger though? Even though I only post twice a month? Am I a content creator on Instagram, even though I don’t have a big following? And like that, I end up doubting everything I put effort in and love doing. As though I am not really that legitimate in what I do, because I am not an expert/I don’t see the end result/it is not my job. 

And I can’t be the only one to feel like that! If like me, you find yourself not legitimate in what you do, even though you put your whole into it, let go of this feeling: what you do, and do with drive and passion, is part of who you are. And I bet you are doing great at it too.

YOU DON’T NEED TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYTHING OR ANYONE.

We hear this all the time, it’s a well-known motivational quote, but it’s definitely true: comparison is the thief of joy. You can be proud of what you do one minute, and the next, compare yourself to someone else and lose all that happiness because you feel like you’re not doing as great as that other person. However, it is plainly impossible to become the same as someone else; impossible to reach the same stage as them, whatever ‘stage’ you envy them for. We are all our unique selves, and everything we do, even the smallest things, are so personal, and feed into your own development. So when you see that friend of yours who seems to have all that you want, remember that not one glove fits all. The more you focus on you, the more you realise how relevant all your actions are to your own self. Don’t let your perception of others be a factor in whether you validate your actions or not. And remember: they are not you!

Here’s a little self-love exercise: every day, list three things you did great today. See it as a gratitude list, but focussing on yourself. All the little things that make you feel proud of yourself today. It doesn’t have to be something out of the ordinary: it can be that you’ve (finally) completed an essay for uni, that you’ve been complimented on your work, that you’ve helped someone out, that you’ve reached out to a friend or relative, that you’ve made progress in a hobby that you do… every little action you do shows your mindset; it shows who you are. Impostor’s Syndrome sometimes tricks you into thinking the small things don’t matter. “Oh, I just went on a hike, but really that’s nothing because I didn’t climb the mountain.” Ditch the idea that you could have done more, that what you did is ultimately not enough: it really is. Remind yourself of this every day, and you will conquer the bad thoughts!

Do you sometimes get impostor’s syndrome? How would you deal with it or help friends who do?

Lots of love,

Julia x