Let’s not start the new year stressed, shall we?
2018 is coming to an end. As we all expect, this is the time where magazines and sometimes blogs ask you to stop and think about the goals you’ve managed to achieve. What you have checked off your list. Have you had a promotion at work? Have you reached 50k on Instagram? Have you bought a house? All these expectations can be overwhelming, especially when you see others succeed. Don’t get me wrong, we should always celebrate each other’s successes, but often we expect people to achieve so much in the space of one year, that if you haven’t quite reached your big goals yet, it can make you feel a bit down or overwhelmed.
But hear this: the end of the year doesn’t mean it’s too late. No matter whether you’ve reached the end line or not, what you should remember is the progress you have made in the interval. Things take time, and your goals don’t really care about whether you achieve them on December 31, 2018 or on May 2, 2019. Really, they don’t. The pressure comes from seeing the end of a year being used as a deadline to end everything and start off again. How about we let go of that pressure, of the temptation to compare our successes to those of others, and just carry on as we were going?
SH*T TAKES TIME
Give yourself the time to reach those long-term goals you have at the back of your mind. Don’t make yourself start it all again – unless you want to of course. But you shouldn’t feel like you have to make these resolutions to change your life around if they are going to make you stressed. Some things take longer than we expect sometimes, and it’s not because you haven’t achieved them before the end of the year that you are a failure. Take me, for example: I am writing a novel, and have been on it on-and-off for roughly two years. In early 2018 I started working on it consistently again, and the February 2018 me thought ‘by December, I want to be all done and ready to edit!’. Turns out, it’s late December now and I’m not there at all. I haven’t met my deadline yet. Should I feel like I failed? Or like maybe I didn’t put enough time and effort in? It’s so easy to put yourself down for not quite reaching what you’ve been aiming for. But don’t let this negativity overshadow all the things you have done, and keep doing every day of every year. Don’t let deadlines dictate your successes. And if something needs more time, then just carry on. It’s not about how long it takes, it’s about how great you feel while working on it.
DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO THAT ONE GIRL YOU ‘SAW ON INSTAGRAM’
I pick Instagram here because it’s the perfect platfom to get those types of feelings. You see people through a sparkly lens of lucky moments, engagements, you see them publish books, buy a house, and especially at this time of year, you see the 2018 recaps full of unimaginable goals. This is also true about blogs, about your Facebook friends (like that one person you knew in high school and would never talk to again, but still have as a Facebook friend for some reason) and also the people around you – your friends, your co-workers. Some people have had a fantastic year full of life changing things, and maybe yours was quieter – but success comes in all shapes and sizes and your successes are the best, because they are your own. We all fall into the trap of comparison sometimes, even though I have never tackled this issue on my blog, and now is my time to remind you that comparing yourself to others should not be something you do, whether it’s 2018 or 2019. Focus on you and think back on all the awesome things that happened to you this year.
THE NEVERENDING GOAL: YOUR HAPPINESS
To me, there is one big goal that should never have a deadline, and it is your happiness. This of course encompasses a lot of things, and you will define your own happiness in your terms. Whenever you think of your goals, make sure they all drive you towards feeling happy and fulfilled. Whether it is related to your job, your relationships, or your hobbies, do your best to make yourself happy. This is how you create the memories that you will remember at the end of the calendar year – and for all the other years to come.
What is your best memory from 2018?
Lots of love,
Julia x
